If this is your first time to visit Hug All the Moms. Welcome. Darling Unleashed is where I, Becca Caney, share my heart about being a mom, wife, and Jesus follower. Maybe you stumbled over here because you know the mom we are featuring? For the newbies, you can read the whole purpose behind Hug All the Moms HERE IN THIS POST, or I can just give you a little snippet.
What: An initiative to enlighten moms about other moms from different walks of life in an effort to aid some relief to the mommy wars and give us all some insight to each other’s lives.
Who: Working moms, stay-at-home moms, single moms, divorced moms, mixed family moms, step-moms, adoptive moms, home school moms, moms of multiples, moms of a ton of kids, soon-to-be moms, wish to be moms, special needs moms, and all the other moms to the moon and back
Why: Thinking I had it all figured out, in my early years as a mom, I was quite judgmental about all moms who had not chosen a way of life like mine, i.e. stay-at-home vs. work, Baby Wise vs. attachment parenting, organic vs. non-organic, etc. The more children I have and the older I get, I have learned that all the moms out there have the best interest of their child at heart and that is all that should really matter to any of us. Sometimes we all just need another mom to tell us we are doing a great job and give us a big hug.
Have you ever met someone and it was like “Friend Love at first sight”? I was working in the church nursery. This adorable couple dropped off a chunky little blonde boy for me to watch. After conversing briefly with the mom, I just knew I needed more of her in my life. Four years later and I don’t even think ‘friend’ is a fair word to describe this girl; ‘sister’ is probably a more appropriate term. If there was one person who knew everything about me (besides my husband) it would be her.
Our newest feature mom on #hugallthemoms is Teresa Lickliter. Teresa is a 30something mom of 4. Yes, I said 4 kiddos. Married to her high school sweetheart, she’s our first in the stay-at-home category. You can tell by looking at the photos of this gem that she is gorgeous on the outside, but her heart is a million times more beautiful. She adores her husband, children, and family. Love and passion just ooze out of her perfect skin.
What is your day job?
Full-Time mom, when time allows, independent graphic artist.
What other activities are you involved in?
I am part of the worship team and women’s prophetic ministry at my church. My husband and I also lead a small group Bible study. I also occasionally write.
Do you feel like your faith has shaped the type of mom you are?
Yes! It guides the choices I make for my children from discipline to how we spend our time. It also helps me show grace to them because Jesus showed me more grace than I can fathom when saving me from myself. I try to reflect that grace to my children and most importantly to myself because I can only give what I have. If I can’t be gracious to myself, there is no true grace for anyone else.
If you had twenty-four hours all to yourself, what would you do?
I would demand my husband take off work (in the nicest way possible) and we would stay in bed until 10am, then go to get a late breakfast. We would find a cute shopping spot with boutique stores and I would get a new outfit (now you know why I would have to demand), then we would go eat at my favorite restaurant and talk and talk and talk, then we would round out the night by going to a concert. Then we would go back to bed. 😉
If you could have any “job” besides the one you have, what would it be?
It would have something to do with music and using creativity.
What made you want to be a mom?
I honestly didn’t want to be a mom. This is a part of my life where my plans didn’t match up with what God had for me. I had to surrender to His will but I am so glad I did. I am grateful that He completely changed my heart in this area. So much so that I now have 4 kids and on good days, I am completely happy about that. 😉
What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
Talk. You would think I am a big talker, but I’m really not. I just like having rich conversations with the people I love. It’s a bonding experience for me. I started taking my 3 older kids out on “interview dates” this year. I take one child out to eat and then do something fun of their choice. I use the time over our meal to interview them about themselves. I ask them about their favorite things; about what makes them feel happy or sad. I try to get some good conversation going that will encourage them to feel safe talking to me about anything. I love spending this one on one time with them. I decided we will be doing it every 3 months because it’s just so fun!
Would you say that the majority of moms in your social circle are very much like you, or opposite of you?
I don’t really categorize them. Some of them work outside the home, some work at home. Some have 1 child, some have 6. Some have biological kids, some have adopted, some are foster parents. Some are married, some are single. Some have special needs kids. Some are older, some are younger. Some are fellow Christians, some are not. I feel like I learn from all of them. I think we all share the common thread of loving our kids and doing our best to nurture and raise them to be happy, healthy, respectful, secure, loving adults.
What is the single hardest part about your role as a mom?
Knowing the best way to discipline my kids. This has been my biggest learning curve. I want my kids to learn to make wise choices without me forcing or controlling them. How to cultivate that in them is the challenge. Allowing them to fail has been incredibly difficult for me. I tend to want to fix everything for them and clean up their messes but I can’t take away the consequences of their choicer they learn nothing but dependency. I call myself a “recovering perfectionist” and I don’t want any residue of those tendencies to taint my kids in any way. I want to encourage them to be all God created them to be and help them understand that sometimes becoming that is messy and that’s ok.
What do you envy about other moms?
I don’t envy other moms. I envy single people. No, just kidding. Well, sometimes. Honestly the only people I envy are those who are fearless and completely secure in who God made them. I just want to get to that place of complete trust in Him to where I really couldn’t care less about other people’s opinions or be so concerned with controlling every aspect of my existence. The freedom that comes with that is really living, no matter what stage of life you are in.
Teresa is a jewel in my life. With 7 children between us and carzy life schedules we only manage to physically connect once every couple of months. But when we do, it’s like we just left off right where we started. Do you have ladies like this in your life? If so, I encourage you to reach out to them. Call them. Make plans to have a little face time.
Photos of this gorgeous lady taken by Jordan Marie Photography
If you or someone you know is interested in being featured in #HugAllTheMoms please fill out the contact form below!