As requested, I’d like to bring a little more ‘fun’ to Sexy Sunday. Ask and you shall receive, right?
So in my ‘market research’, I am amazed to find out how few women realize that we have our own sex manual right there in the Word. Song of Solomon. Bam.
I’m not going to get too graphic, let’s ease into this week by week. My parents read this too, people. :).
But here goes…
Even before we were married, I knew that the theme, so to speak, of our marriage was to be one of passion and desire. I had been searching for some material to use for our marriage vows and ceremony. Overlooking the traditional 1 Corinthians, I went to Song of Solomon and started reading…
“I am my beloved’s and my beloved’s is mine.” Song of Solomon 6:3
I had read those words many times before, but something about the fact that we were engaged and I actually had a beloved made them leap off the page. Wow. This was it. So simple yet so perfect. You see, from the second I met Hot Husband, there was this crazy electrical connection. Once we had our first date, if I wasn’t with him, I would literally crave his presence. It was this hunger I couldn’t satiate. It was a true physical gnawing in my stomach that wouldn’t let up until I could see him again. Unhealthy? Maybe. Divinely planned? Yes.
So when I re-read that famous verse again with new eyes I knew I had found what I was looking for. We even put it on the wedding invitation. I had a beloved that was mine, all mine. And I was all his.
Most people know that verse, but I am finding that many women don’t really realize the literal meaning & translation of the rest of the book.
I don’t want to cram it all in to one blog, so let’s take it over the course of a few weeks? Sound good?
Just to give you a little background on the book, even with all the flowery language and poetic imagery, up until the 19th century, it was accepted primarily as a depiction of Christ’s passionate love for His bride (the church) and also as a picture of Israel’s God and His desire for His people. It wasn’t until a couple hundred years ago that we really began to look at it for the literal beauty that it is– a song between two people in love.*
It starts out with…
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine;
your anointing oils are fragrant;
your name is oil poured out;
therefore virgins love you.
Draw me after you, let us run.
The king has brought me into his chambers.
The kiss is where it all starts! Isn’t that the truth? Think about your first kiss with your husband. Maybe after a nice sweet first date, he politely walks you to your front door and leans in for it. Maybe it was on your wedding day? Maybe you spent all Saturday locked in the library together for detention and then Don’t Forget About Me started playing cueing you to lock lips? Anyone? Or maybe you’re like me and you dressed as a half-naked Britney Spears for a sorority party and he showed up dressed as Justin Timberlake. Regardless of how bad you wanted to kiss him right there, you fought the urge and made him play hard to get all night until on your front porch at 1am he was begging for it. Finally, you gave in and it was like fireworks, literally. There was a chemical and physical magic that happened. I’m pretty sure I cried. I hope your first kiss was that awesome.
How was yours? I’m sure you remember it vividly. Go back to that place in your head and your heart. Recap it with your husband. Ask him if he remembers it the way you do. Talk about the way you felt emotionally. Try and re-create it. If it was terrible, talk about how it could have been and what could have been better about it. The Shulammite woman craved her lover’s kisses. She said it was even better than wine. Yes, wine can give you a good buzz and relax you, but have you ever felt drunk on love? Nothing else seems to matter. I remember the semester when Hot Husband and I got together in college. This once Straight A girl barely managed to pull Cs in a few classes. I went to class, worked part-time, and did sorority functions only to pass the time when I wasn’t with him. He was like a drug. A drug that I couldn’t stop. As long as I got my high, nothing else phased me.
Verse 5 continues with:
I am very dark, but lovely,
O daughters of Jerusalem,
like the tents of Kedar,
like the curtains of Solomon.
Do not gaze at me because I am dark,
because the sun has looked upon me.
My mother’s sons were angry with me,
they made me keeper of the vineyards,
but my own vineyard I have not kept.
This poor soul had to work the fields. She didn’t have the time nor the energy to keep up her own vineyard. Anyone out there need a trip to the waxing salon? 😉 In her mind, ain’t nobody got time for that. She has endured the weather and she needs some lovin’. Some days when I am extra moody with the kids, my hair is 5 days dirty, and I’ve been pooped & puked on, I just need to get with my husband and take care of business. You know?
In verse 7 she continues…
Tell me, you whom my soul loves,
where you pasture your flock,
where you make it lie down at noon;
for why should I be like one who veils herself
beside the flocks of your companions?
I love this! She is so assertive. In most Bibles it breaks down the verses like a play citing HE or SHE at the top of each section. We are halfway through the 1st book and she is the one doing all the talking. She initiated it. How awesome is that? Do y’all know how much your man loves that? It is proven that a man’s greatest need is to be admired/desired. Even if we’ve been keeping sheep all day, if every now and then we can come after him with one thing on our mind, how much would he love that?
Asking him some logistics questions she is not coy or teasing. She doesn’t try to manipulate or play hard to get. Her desires are obvious and she takes no shame in it. Setting herself above the rest, “No” is not answer she is going to receive from him.
He responds to her in verse 8-10
If you do not know,
O most beautiful among women,
follow in the tracks of the flock,
and pasture your young goats
beside the shepherd’s tents.
I compare you my love,
to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariots.
Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments,
your neck with strings of jewels.
Telling her to follow her flock, they will end up together. He compares her to a mare (horse). I’m not interested in being called a horse, but back then it was a huge compliment. Horses were noble & beautiful. Pharaoh’s horses would be the most decorated and honored. So maybe it’s like your husband telling you you’re hotter than Scarlett Johansen?
There is a little ‘chorus line’ type part in this love story too. It’s referred to as “OTHERS”. They chime in every now and then like a good musical. They tell her it’s okay because they can make her some ornaments too.
She responds in Verse 11-14 saying
While the king was on his couch,
my nard gave forth its fragrance.
My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh
that lies between my breasts.
My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
in the vineyards of Engedi.
How beautiful is this poetry here? Nard, myrrh, & henna are all flowers/plants that give off fragrance. It was her equivalent to Chanel perfume. She wore the sweet smell around her neck, close to her always. He was more precious to her than that and she desired him to be closer to her that than sachet between her breasts.
He delighted hearing that so he responds in verse 15 with…
Behold you are beautiful my love
behold you are beautiful;
your eyes like doves.
How sweet is that? Does your compliment you? If he doesn’t ask him! Ask him one thing he loves about your physical appearance.
Finally, she ends the chapter with a compliment as well in verse 16-17.
Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful.
Our couch is green;
the beams of our house are cedar;
our rafters are pine.
They are together at last. I love how they keep calling each other beloved. I have always just loved that word and how it rolls off the tongue. If I ever get a tattoo, it will be of that word. It’s so simple yet speaks so loud. They were more than likely outside, as they were both workers, but regardless they were together and it was perfect. Like Edward & Bella in the meadow, their’ ‘house’ was where they could finally be together.
I think we will end there for this week. I hope y’all enjoy this!!! The Spirit may lead me to get a little more steamy, who knows? Either way, I pray for passion amongst couples. I pray that if you lacking in passion and desire, that you would go back to how and where it started and use that memory as something to kindle. Go back and recount some things that made you fall in love with your husband. You may find that those things are the things now that drive you crazy. But use them for good. Remember those things as strengths, not weaknesses. Don’t believe a lie that he is not good enough for you anymore or he’s not your type or you are just not in love. That is a lie straight from the pits of hell. What God puts together no man can separate. Don’t give in to the world, your friends’ voices, or your fleshly desires for others things. You are letting the enemy win if you quit.
*The love story has been interpreted in different ways. Some believe it’s a story between a poor shepherd and a Shulammite woman. Other’s believe it’s more of a love triangle between King Solomon, a Shulammite woman, and the shepherd where the rich & powerful Kind tries to woo the woman away from the man she truly loves.