Today is January 14. Hot husband joined me on a trip to my happy place (aka Hobby Lobby). Right in front, replacing all of last month’s Christmas decor, was all the Valentine gear– already reduced 30% off.
EEEK! I realized Vday is exactly one month away.
If you’re female, this usually means that you start daydreaming about what your husband will surprise you with. If you’re male, you start sweating bullets because Christmas was just like two seconds ago and you just don’t have it in you to be all sweet & gooey again.
I remember like it was yesterday. Our middle school student council did a carnation ordering fundraiser for Valentine’s day every year. For the week before V-day, you could purchase a carnation and have it delivered with a note on Vday to someone’s class.
White= Friend (boring)
Pink= Secret Admirer
Red= I love you
Guess who never got a red one? >>>THIS GIRL<<<< Nope, not a pink either. I think I got a white one like once. I would go home and cry because Pretty McPopular would get like 20 flowers. How on earth did my crush not read my mind and send me one? Why was I not good enough to deserve a flower like the other girls? I expected something I thought I had earned by being good, nice, smart, going to youth group every week, etc. But like my husband always says “You can hope for something in one hand and *#@^ in the other, and see which hand has more.” My hopes and expectations left me empty-handed and brokenhearted.
I carried those wounds well into adulthood. My husband, bless his heart, has been the poor soul who has had to deal with the wrath of my unmet expectations. Every Valentine’s Day, birthday, Christmas, Anniversary, for the first seven years of our marriage, I created these invisible hoops for him to jump through. I believed the lie that if he loved me he would really be able to give me exactly what I wanted how I wanted it. I believed that if he would just do (insert made up expectation) then I could really be happy. He’s served as my emotional punching bag for feelings of emptiness and worthlessness.
I think we, especially women, fail to realize the importance and significance of real and true love. We get caught up in the fairytale (or Bachelor if you’re into that sort of thing). We play these head games where we have this picture in our head of what we want to happen. All our hope and potential to experience joy is placed in a human–usually our husband. Thinking “he knows me so well” or “I dropped hints last month” entitles us to our emotions. You know in the circus- the guy with all the little dogs that jump through the hula hoops? That guy will move the hoop all over and the dog still jumps and gets it right every time, even though the silly dog doesn’t know where it’s going. Our husbands are not trick puppies! We cannot hold out a hoop and keep moving it expecting them to have perfect aim. Don’t even get me started on aim.
It took me until recently to realize that Valentine’s days, birthdays, and all the other days come and go. The carnations die, the jewelry goes out of style and the chocolate makes you fat. The hope and expectation we place on our beloved is much better trusted with our Savior.
Two-thousandish years ago, God, creator of everything that we know, sent a son to earth. He loved the earth– you, me, and everything in it, so passionately that he wanted to save us from our sin. Jesus Christ, our Savior, the light of the world, was born and then died on a cross, sacrificial, because God loved us that much. He knew that we put other things before Him. He knew us. He knew we were sinful and broken. He knew we would burn in hell for eternity if we rejected his sacrifice.
HIS love is the love in which we can place all hope and expectations. HIS love seeks us. It’s jealous for our attention. HIS love is beautifully tender and affectionate. HIS love is never-ending, never-failing, and the truest and most passionate love there is.
So this V-day, or any other ‘day’, remember that. Your husband and especially those boys that didn’t send you carnations will only let you down if you don’t realize the love that matters most is the love from our Heavenly Father. He loves us all.
One of my all-time favorite worship songs is How He Loves. Lot’s of artists and churches perform it, but nobody does it justice like Kim Walker-Smith. Enjoy!!
And please take advantage of my free printable download!!! I included two versions. One has a blank background so that you can print on whatever paper you like. The other has a pink background. I have mine framed on my dining room buffet.